Thursday, June 30, 2011


After the succinctly spectacular World Cup 2011 and the briefly brilliant IPL 2011, Cricket Season has started off in England and West Indies without much ado, spectators and, in some cases, even players.

Let me put the current twin series going on in these countries in Zaltsmanian terms for better clarity. This is the first series, or pair of series, in the history of cricket where four teams – accompanied frequently by rain – are playing cricket with not four, not five, not six, heck! Not even seven, but eight current captains in their midst. England will gladly claim lions share in this as three of the eight are captaining England in each format of the game. In hindsight, this is the first time, after 12843 years and 73 days that England has been on top of…anything, I suppose. Sadly, West Indies continue to languish at the bottom with only one captain at the helm of affairs. For good measure, they have gone on to sack their vice-captain as well. India, sensing the acrimony and danger of falling victim to the stat-cracking brilliance of yours truly, went well-prepared to the West Indies. With a captain-count of two they share an honourable second spot with Sri Lanka, who brought about a cunning injury to their current captain Dilshan, dilly-dallied with Sangakkara for a test match and, in trying to out perform India, even made Thilina Kandamby their T20 captain. Sadly, Sangakkara, being a former captain, will not be counted in this stat. You might argue that even Andrew Strauss is a former captain, but logically speaking, he is also a current captain. So, in that way, it does makes sense no?

Anyway, let’s get back to cricket. The ODI series between two teams who called themselves ‘West Indies’ and ‘India’ turned out to be, Ravi Shastrically speaking, a ‘walk in the park’ for the cricket fans which was more so because most of them preferred the aforementioned activity to watching the matches being telecast. Still, we have to appreciate the fact that the series did not turn out to be as one-sided as predicted. The first three matches turned towards one side, admittedly India, and the last two matches turned towards the other side, West Indies, naturally. In the end, we got an enthralling two-sided series without Ravi Shastri’s commentary. What more can you ask for from a Cricket Series?

In complete contrast to this ODI series, we had a dull, drab and mostly damp test series between Sri Lanka and England. I keep forgetting what exactly occurred in the series except for torrential rain. Ah! Something tells me I must have dozed off when those three English mega-serials were going on – Cook, Strauss and Trott.

Coming to the Test Series between India and West Indies, one has to say that the cricket has swayed from being extraordinary to being unmentionable depending upon the following four events:

• West Indies Bowling

• India Bowling

• West Indies Batting

• Murali Vijay Batting

A great batsman once said that ‘We love Murali and we all know he can bat. We want him to just go out there and enjoy himself’. It is high time our lad acknowledges the truth behind that statement. That great batsman was Mahela Jayawardene and he was talking about Muralitharan, not Murali Vijay.

The deep-rooted patriotism towards my hometown forbids me from ridiculing the talented Vijay but seriously! Have you ever seen a worse ACTOR??

Did I say actor??

Oh, I was meaning to say BATTER.

Well…no harm done one way or the other, I suppose.